


Razor - 28/05/2015

by JSS394



Category: Pushing Daisies
Genre: Close Shave, Multi, Razor - Freeform, The Pie Hole, shave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:31:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4026931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JSS394/pseuds/JSS394
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very close shave</p>
            </blockquote>





	Razor - 28/05/2015

RAZOR

LOCATION: Razor Body

DATE PUBLISHED: 03/05/2015 S03EP4

BY: Bryan Fuller

CAST: 

-          Ned (The Pie Maker) owner of The Pie Hole restaurant 

-          Chuck Ned’s childhood sweetheart

-          Emerson Cod A private investigator

-          Digby Ned’s pet

-          Lomo 

-          Olive Snook

-          The Barman – Christopher Walken

-          Lucius Malfoy

 

BLURB: A very close shave

 

 

12.00pm

 

At 33 years 36 weeks 8 days and 10 hours Young Ned the pie maker slouched his either of his shoulders in a forwards motion strolling along the hard concrete foot path, either of his hands hid his fingers inside his trouser pockets making sure he wouldn’t touch anybody. His head was tilted downwards a little making no eye contact with anybody except for the length of his own body as he swayed along the path feeling the cold consume his withering body, his hairs on his chin began to sway in the wind also that lingered a conjuring thought. (I need a shave soon). He thought walking straight past a barbers shop on the left of him.

 

Out from the corner of his eye he sees a shimmer of red, white and blue hinting the attractive colours of a barber shop flickering in his mind. He halted for a moment resting his feet together with a sigh, he turned to the left of him seeing his own miserable completion in the mirror looking back at him. He turned his head to the door, he began to move over to the door, he removed his right hand, his fingers latched onto the metal door knob twisting his wrist slightly to the right unhinging the door from the door frame and he immediately stepped into the room closing the door fast behind him letting no warm air from the inside escape from before him.

 

Ned stood slouched at the counter looking around the room tapping his index finger impatiently at the desk seeing nobody in sight. (Where is the barber?). He thought still looking around. His ears then enlightened hearing a creaking sound coming from upstairs from the side star case that led upstairs. Ned leaned over the counter. “Hello!”. Ned called out waiting for a response but, receiving no answer but, more sounds of the floor boards creaking. “Hm”. Ned voiced from under his breath and he narrowed his bushy brows downwards thinking of what to do next. (Do you think I should go up there-). He paused his thoughts looking into the mirror that was behind the desk looking at himself with the beared covering most of his face. “I need one”. He spoke to himself removing himself from the bench walking over to the first step of the stair case.

 

Ned reached the last step coming to a halt as he peered his head around the corner seeing a tightly wound long hallway with lights in the center of it shining his disorientated path before in. He swallowed deep clearing the saliva out from his mouth making it seep back into the depth of his panicking brain, hearing the faint click of his eyelids clapping together feeling his own faint breath of his own as his eyes wondered the bleakness of his own vision.

 

Ned took one step forward gaining his motion out from the staircases walking into the cleared space. He walked down the hallway waiting for anything to jump out at him and it did sooner than he thought. He paused his movements stopping in mid walk seeing a bar foot appear out from the corner of the last door frame that was obviously open. He held his breath in, wide eyes and ears raised as a fox watching every move the figure took showing more of its self into the light.

 

Ned tilted his head to the left with narrowed eyes. (Is that a girl of a boy?). He thought seeing the bare back of the figure walking away from him wearing only black skinny jeans seeing a seam of his or her white rim of his/her underwear above the jeans showing off the figures pale/creamy competition hiding the figures face with small remnants of smoke covering it in secret.

 

Ned watched the figure walk more downwards into the hallway taking a sudden right turn. Suddenly, a black figure covered his immediate vision. Ned cocked his head up staring into the eyes of the barber man adjusting his eyes to the blue, red and white coloured clothing her wore eyeing the mans perfectly combed back hair, seeing the mans smoothness of his perked out lips, his hairy black thinned brows that lightly hung above his eyes. “How can I help you?”. He questioned chirpily sounding like his voice had been turned into a whispered with a smile diverting his attention away from what he just saw. “Oh!”, Ned evoked clearing out from his shaken slippery mouth slacking the sides of his mouth into a smile. “I have to go”. He spoke quickly turning around, he raced down the stairs clattering his heels ontop of the brim of the stairs reaching the door, he pulled it forward slippering out from the door with his hand in his heart feeling relived that he had made it out side placing his hands once more into the sides of his pockets walking not swiftly down back to the Pie Hole.

 

6.00pm

 

Ned sat impatiently on the red coloured chair against the window with his arms resting on the cream coloured table before him looking into the direction of Emerson Cod who had a delicious Pie Hole baked pie in front of him with a pre-eaten slice had been already eaten by him as he chewed silently on the food at Ned started to speak with worried in his voice. “Have you had any calls yet? from anyone?”. Ned insisted getting a quick response but, Emerson took his time extending the expandable length of Ned’s current condition. Emerson gladly took his time placing the fork onto the place, taking a slight smooth gulp to clear his stuffed ogsofagous. “Now lets see, no I haven’t had any calls yet or meetings”. Ned went quiet for a moment. “Wonder why?”. Emerson spoke again getting no response from Ned seeing he had turned his attention over to Chuck who was at the counter serving people while in the back ground Olive Snook was making coffee while Digby sat near the counter not moving much. “Hey!”. Emerson clicked his fingers in front of Ned tarring his gaze away from his current attention. “ I thought you were going to get a shave today. Why didn’t you go?”. Ned looked back over into Emerson’s direction feeling compressed emotions hit him like a tidal wave over his face making him not speak a word.

 

Ned stood up placing his hands on the desk before him still looking at Emerson but, no words came out still he huffed walking over to the front door slinging his jacket on. In the split second Chuck got a glimpse of Ned’s atmosphere. She looked over at Emerson and mouthed. “What is the matter with Ned?”. Emerson politely shook his head with the slight raise of his hands knowing if he breathed a word Ned could instantly hear him so he took the silent treatment for now. Chuck tapped the back of her heel on the floor seeing Ned walk out from the shop with no good by or those warm plastic wrapped hugs he would have given only yesterday. She slumped on the counter looking gloomy in the direction of Ned watching his every move he took while Emerson just rolled his eyes lightly with a huff seeing the cold expression Chuck showed as her red lips quivered slightly.

 

9.00pm

 

Ned wanted this out from his thought not knowing how far he will go this time it should be easy as pie he hopped. Ned slipped onto the corner of the barber shop stopping suddenly seeing a figure appear before him again only a few meters away in the moon light night revealing a slither of lightness upon the figures bare stripped like a snake losing its skin revealing the tenderness flesh of the being once again into Ned’s vision also he or she wore the same black tightly fitted skinny jeans that where accompanied by the figures bear feet. Ned followed the figures walk with his eyes seeing the figure led him the front steps of the barber shop and he or she walked in hearing the faint bell ring in the distance.

 

Once it was clear Ned stepped out onto the road walked quickly over towards the door slipping his fingertips into the corner of both his pockets just catching the door frame with his left foot so it wouldn’t make a sound when it closed. Ned breathe out slowly with control with belief that he had caught the door frame with the edge of his shoe as a smile lingered for a while but then slithered away from his face. Ned entered the room with a slight hesitant in movement but, he pushed on forward knowing where the figure escaped the one stare case room. Ned quietly walked like a mouth with his hands pricked up together tiptoeing on each step with full control, his back was hunched over with wide eyes staring into the abyss of the end of the star case with light breathes escaping from his opened nostrils.  Ned stood one step forward into the disorientate lengthy hallway feeling a tad woozy as the lights above him plummeted down expanding his skin absorbing the heat beneath his covered skin forming small puddles of sweat in areas he found unwanted. Ned wandered slowly with guided hands that removed themselves from him to the edges of the wall.

 

Meanwhile From the un-achnolagment from Ned’s current state Chuck, Emerson and Digby had reached the foot of the barber shop. Chuck looked over at Emerson. “Do you think we should go in?”. “It is up to you”. He shrugged with a huff. “I will wait out her with Digby”. He added. Chuck smiled quickly removing her hand out from her pocket, she latched her overed fingers onto the door knob, twisted her wrist to the right un-hinging the door from it frame producing the slight bell sound from above her to consume the air. In that moment Ned stopped mid walk in his tracks hearing the door below had been opened. He took no thought of it and carried on.

 

Meanwhile Chuck walked up to the first step of the door walking up the stairs with no sense of being quiet hearing the creek in each step evoke from underneath her boots.

 

Ned on the other hand turned to his left walking straight into a room. The room was brightly coloured white on the floor, on each corner of the walls where mirrored with a huge glassed window showing before Ned six rows of white clean bathtubs with supposed remnants of hot water as Ned could see the steam coming off the tuffs on the edge of the water like when the buffalo stay beneath the mountain on thick ice as steams of hot blasted air come from the depths of the ice in small burst of pockets making the air all warm and fuzzy feeling of pleasure. Ned smiled walking into the room feeling the heat catching a draft onto his exposed skin. Ned looked around the room in “Aw” of the delight of the atmosphere but, soon it started to feel cold, his eyes focused onto a particular bath tub, he waddled over to the bath tub steadily kneeling immediately before it, he placed his face against the bath seeing it had a stand of red blood on the edge of the bath tub.

 

9.30pm

 

Ned walked out from the white room colliding with a person that came out from nowhere almost touching skin to skin. They meet eyes. Ned’s eyes expanded quickly. “Chuck!”. He wined. “I could have touched you, you could have been dead!”. He breathed out catching his breath. Chuck nodded with a slight whispered. “You would have left without me saying I love you”. Ned smiled shyly bitting his bottom lip in the silence. Out from the silence Ned changed his face expression. “What are you doing here?”. “I wanted to see if you were ok, plus why are you at a barber shop? in the middle of the night?”. Ned fronded upon it for a moment before answering. “I needed a shave. Also there is something mysterious going on. Lets go this way”. Ned folded his hands behind his back slipping past Chick to the right side as she followed suite.

 

This time on this side of the house this particular room was pitch back. Ned stood an inch inwards into the room and Chuck stood an inch away from him making sure their bodies wouldn’t touch even though she really wanted too. The light flickered on instantly adjusting Ned’s and Chuck’s eyes to the brightness of the glassed reflected mirrored floor and walls seeing a bath tub in the center of the room, hot water had been poured into it already seeing a figure was resting quietly with its head cocked back in the crack of the edge of the tub on its neck, the figures eyes were closed, the water covered its body in a milky effect hiding the mysterious figures body from Ned and Chuck who had their mouths wide open. In that moment Chuck looked over at Ned knowing she just wanted to hold his hand but, she knew she couldn’t. Ned on the other hand felt a pleasing presence; he turned his head facing Chuck knowing what she was thinking as he nodded slightly seeing a small tear escape from her left eye with happiness.

 

9.35pm

 

In that moment a man wearing a full black tuxedo, beautiful long blond hair tied in a ponytail away from his face glided into the room in silence holding out one hand that held a metal plate with a shaver and parts of a broken razor shoeing the three blades in a straight line on the metal plate. Ned jested his position leaning against the door frame in silence watching what was about to be played out before them as his jaw un-hinged from its state closing back on himself to a closed mouth.

 

9.40pm

 

The waiter like man hovered over the mysterious figure in the bath tub with the metal plate over his shoulder. The figure in the bath tub removed its limb over to the metal plate dripping wet from the figures fingers onto the glassed floor before the figures self. The figure grabbed the first blade his fingers caught on while the waiter removed his right hand from his back grabbing the hair shaver then removing the metal plate by his feet. The figure adjusted its position in the bath into a sitting up position showing his now un-covered soaking wet pale chest into the light along with the figures brown lightly tinged long locks bellowing beneath its neck clinging to the absorbed water on its back instantly latching its self on the figure. The waiter before the figure placed his piano fingertips on the edge of the figures seamed hair pulling all the long strands on one side of the figures head. Once he got it all he began to line up the shaver in position, he pressed the button as a sound started to make its self-known while he steadily started to remove the hair on the sides of the figures head in a steady pace. Not rushing at all. Ned and Chuck didn’t know what to expect so Chuck decided to speak first with a whispere. “Hello”. Was all she could think off. But, there was no reply. Ned looked over at Chuck. “Maybe they speak a different language. Do you think?”. “Maybe”. She answered with a nod,

 

Meanwhile the waiter now had started shaving the other side of the figures head seeing he was holding on the razor blade within his long fingers lightly with in his grasp. The figure caught a glimpse of two figures on the right. The figure cocked his head up light without warning. The waiter blurted out. “Guð . Ekki gera það sem þú þarft að segja mér þegar að fara að flytja . ég vil ekki að raka allt höfuðið af ! -  God. Don't do that you have to tell me when you’re going to move. I don't want to shave all your head off!”. Chuck immediately chuckled. Ned on the other hand lent over to her side more. “What are you laughing at? What language did they speak?”. Chuck looked over at Ned. “The guy in the bath just moved without telling him, the waiter could have shaven off all his head. Also he spoke Icelandic”. “Do you speak it?”. Ned questioned knowing back in the day she had read loads of books when she was with her mother and her Ant Vivian. Ned looked back over at the waiter and the figure in the bath tub. “You should go speak with them”. He spoke softly. “I can’t I don’t speak it”. He added.

 

9.45pm

 

Chuck removed her from the hallway and headed quietly over towards the waiter and the figure in the tub. She made a faint grunting sound getting both their attention immediately. Chuck locked eyes with the figure that was clearly a man in the tub instantly with blue eyes piercing through the hot steams. “Vissir Butler minn kalla þig ? – Did my butler call for you?”. He questioned with a slight hit of an accent. Chuck thought about it for a moment but, before she could even speak he butted in his words again. “What do you do? Why did you let the lady speak first”. Ned was completely gob smacked he didn’t know the guy could speak plan English. “Well-“. Ned stepped forward then stopped just behind Chuck. “I can’t speak Icelandic, I didn’t know you spoke English-“. Ned puffed for a moment looking at Chuck. “Do I have to say the last bit”. Chuck looked over at Ned. “Yes you do. Its yours, well our job isn’t it?”. She said that more of a question than an answer. Ned looked back over into those blue eyes with a sigh escaping from his mouth. “I touch murder victims, I asked who killed them and then they got back to being dead and then we get the cash for doing it-“. Ned paused placing both of his hands behind his back seeing the expression on the confused face before him. “I heard about you, you’re Ned the pie maker”. “Yes that is I”. Ned nodded. “And what is your name?”. He added. “My name! -“. The gentleman paused placing his free hand on his chest. “My name is Lomo”.

 

The next day Ned still hasn’t got his beared shaved off until right now. Ned stood at the front of the barber shops door with a big smile. He pushed the door open seeing he wasn’t the only one in the room today on the left of him there was a group of people being severed already with their accounted staff. Ned then sat patiently over on the black leather couch waiting to be called. Ned lowered his head looking down at his feet not seeing the two men standing side by side in the hall way the taller of the two leant inwards closer to the black bushy eyebrow man. “I will finish it”. The long blond haired eye evoked out from his raspy mouth swaying away from the area walking into the light with a smile upon his face as he jested either sides of his neatly tailored black suite at the edges of his cuffs neatening them out more.

 

He stood in sight of Ned. Ned’s eyes went wide seeing another mans boots in his vision; he looked up quickly seeing the blond haired guy he only met last night. “Take a seat”. The man kindly jested Ned to a spare seat in the corner of the room that was closer to them both. Ned nodded following suite.

 

As he took his seat Ned was the first one to speak. “Where is Lomo?”. He questioned. The man stood from behind removed his hands from his side, placed them gently on the tips of Ned’s shoulders slight tilting his head to the left looking from the mirror into Ned’s focus point. “Who is this man you speak off?”. Ned’s smile immediately frowned. “But, you were their last night”. “Yes, he sadly passed away that night after you left”. He spoke sound with no emotional contact in his words. Ned froze trying to take everything in. (Could Lomo be dead? Or is he still alive or is that man the killer?). Receiving no answer from Ned the man spoke again. “I can see I have frightened you. Don’t worry I an’t goin to heart you”. He whispered softly leaning onto the side of Ned’s ear before removing back into an upright position. Ned gulped quietly. “Well um, how did he die?”. He questioned changing the current subject back to Lomo. “Well-“. The man paused for a moment walking over to Ned’s left side. He removed his first layer of clothing, he unravelled one sleeve, he pulled up the sleave with his bare hands to it sat perfectly around the top of his arm showing a slither of a cut line in the middle of his elbow on the inner side to his wrist in a rectangle shape of a red scar. With no words Ned immediately got the point. He shook his head as rustle of his hair covered his vision slightly. He stood up, he fasted the man. “I have got to go”. He spoke fast trying to get out of their as quick as he could. “But what about your shave?”. “Another time. Maybe”. Ned evacuated the barber shop quickly with fast movements of his legs.

 

That morning Emerson and Ned said before each other once more. Emerson raised a brow noticing Ned had not shaven yet. “Are you scared of the shaver boy?”. He questioned not meeting Ned’s gaze. Hearing that word scared him. “I am not scarred!”. He spoke deeply. “I an’t assuming you are. I’m just stating the obvious”. Ned nodded. “Sorry-“. Ned paused looking at Emerson. “A man at the barber shop with blond hair creeps-“. Emerson butted in slightly in the gap of Ned’s words. “Ah. You met my dear old friend Lucius Malfoy”. Ned’s eyebrows rose at him. “Friend! He killed a man you know”. He spoke with courage. “Ah, well no not exactly. You see he has three steps-“. Ned leaned in closer listening intently. “- The first step is he makes a hot bath for them, the second step is he razors their arms. He preserves the blood. Drinks the blood and then thirdly the man passes away but, Lucius preserves him in meat packets for latter. Its like you have a burger and the chips are on the side. So like a meat processed snack”. Ned shook his head. “Ha! What are the chances of you knowing the killer who I had encountered”. “I know a lot of people when you least expect it”. He smiled.

 

Out from the blue Chuck placed a beautiful red made juicy pie in front of Emerson who was pleased by her presence but, Ned on the other hand wasn’t so impressed he felt a bad sensation in his stomach, a heat wave flushed over his head feeling ill immediately seeing the red juices splurge out onto the plate thinking of flash memories seeing Lucius cut lightly on the edges of the marked out skin on Lomo who sat their patiently feeling no pain at all.

 

Ned shook his head clearing the thoughts. He quickly stood up. “I think I’m going to be sick!”. He spoke fast moving away. Chuck felt abandoned. She looked back over at Emerson who had a smile on his face. “What did you do?”. “I just played a trick on him”. “That blond haired man joke”. Emerson narrowed his eyes. “How did you know?-“. “I know more than you think”. She winked leaving it at that as she walked away hiding her smile. Emerson placed his hands over his face rubbing his eyes. “What are the chances of her knowing him? I thought he wasn’t into girls like that”. Emerson spoke to himself with a wondering thought.   

 


End file.
